Sunday, December 4, 2011

Happy Grandparents Day!


No no, its not really Grandparent's Day (is it??) - but why stick to the calendar. I can celebrate my grandparents any day of the year, it needn't be a recognized national holiday, eh? (for you Canadians!)
Grandma Ballhagen and Grandma Dempster are beautiful spring chickens- so we won't mention their ages. Grandpa Ballhagen has passed the years of spring, so I proudly declare his age- 101 years and 8 months!

I love these wonderful people so much- thank You, Lord, for giving them to me!

~Memories~

Grandma D- First thing I think of is doing jigsaw puzzles with her. I specifically remember a 3-D, Thomas Kinkade puzzle we once did. My eyes were spinning and not sure how to focus after about 5 seconds. I had a hard time with that one, felt like I couldn't see straight. But Grandma proved her salt and stuck with it until completion! When it was finished, we didn't have the courage (.... stupidity) to take it apart, so Grandma glued it and it became a wall ornament. :)
It was the ONLY time I ever allowed anyone to glue a puzzle together.
I lived with her for a few years, and I remember the cozy evenings of sitting in the living room and reading books. Grandma and I are bookworms by definition.
Then there were all those times when we'd sit and watch the cats. We watched them sit. We watched them sleep. We watched them play. I won't mention how I loved to pick on Grandma's kitty;) Grandma's home-made bread... the days when I awoke or came in to the smell of freshly-made bread, those were good days:) She almost always has home-made cookies waiting to be eaten! She patiently endured the times when I had friends stay overnight. We tried to be quiet, but you know how teenage girls are;)
Love you Grandma!!!

Grandma B- Word-search puzzles, library visits, and treats are what come to mind. For as long as I can remember, she always worked on word search puzzles. During my childhood, I would go spend a week or two with Grandma and Grandpa Ballhagen. I was a HUGE bookworm as a child (and had the time for it!) so Grandma and I would walk to the library in New Hartford. As she talked to the librarian, I would find sections like "The Babysitter's Club" and accumulated a massive tower of books. Grandma was always shocked by how many I would come up to the desk with... especially when it required two trips to get them all! She was always sure I would never be able to read all those books, but I always proved her wrong! I would read for hours. When I was called for lunch, I would eat as fast as I could so I could get back to reading. She would also take me to the New Hartford Kwik Trip at some point, because she would need bananas, or bread, or those bags of milk.. and she would pick out some sort of candy and ask me if I wanted that kind. Then we would pick a few different treats and she allowed me to have one per day.
Their house in New Hartford was ruined by the floods, but I still remember the nights of waking up every time a train went by. And the mosquitos... I even remember the neighbors:)
Love you Gramma B!!!

Grandpa Ballhagen- Haha, the first thing I think of is how he always used to say, "Bless your heart." I will always remember that:) He always calls me "dear one" and always says, "I thank the Lord for you, dear one." Not only are his words very tender and loving, but I will always remember his sense of humor! You never know what witty remark is going to come out next! Saturday, when I was with him, someone was asking him "Are you sure?" He is hard of hearing, so looked at her for a moment, then said, "No, I ain't very sharp." Everyone burst out laughing:D He has a way of cheering people up with his witty remarks. I remember painting my fingernails hot pink while in their living room. Grandma just shrugged it off, because she knew how stubborn I was, so why waste breath by saying anything;) I would have been about 12 years old, or so, so this was years ago, when nail polish was highly unacceptable. And to go without nylons was extremely shocking behavior:) Anyways, while painting my nails in front of Grandpa, who of course didn't approve, I waited for his reaction. He watched me then said, "Ohhh ohhhhh, you musn't do that! You just take that stuff right off!" - in his teasing voice.
He never scolded me harshly (well, if he did, I don't remember it!), but he always scolded me in his gentle, teasing voice. :)
I love you Grandpa!!!

You are all very precious to me, and you have served your children and us, as we grew up, for all these years. Now its our turn to serve you.






Monday, November 14, 2011

Happy 3rd Birthday, Gavin!!!






Gets harder every year... :)




To Dad, From Daughter


"Daaaaaad!", I bellowed, for the second time that evening...

Who would have believed that I couldn't live without my Dad- twice- in a twenty-minute span??
I had used every energy cell in my body trying to pry that jar lid open. And then it hit me.
Dad is here. I can ask him to open it, and then this will all be over.
Maybe some of you would rather cling to your "I can do it myself" philosophy, but this girl does not have any qualms about asking her Dad or brothers (or any man, for that matter) to open that stubborn jar lid! :)

I happily trotted to the basement and presented my jar in Dad's face. Words were probably not necessary, but I did vocalize my need. With one simple twist, the lid popped free.
After I loosened it drastically, of course. ;)

20 minutes later~
I brainlessly set the hot pan lid down on the stove-top. Well, it didn't seem like an obvious problem was looming over my head. Until I moved to retrieve the lid from off the stove-top.
In my defense, that was the Tightest vacuum-sealed lid EVER! I was embarrassed, and didn't want Dad to know what a silly thing I had done... so I yanked, pulled, and tried to slip a knife under to break the suction. Absolutely nothing would budge that baby off the stove.
That's when I called for Dad the second time that night.
At least he didn't make it look effortless this time:) (or make me look muscle-less!)
He did, I'm happy to say, finally get that silly lid to release its vice-grip.

Thanks, Dad, you're the best! Couldn't get by without you!

Oh, and Dad, as long as you're in the kitchen, this cabinet door needs to be fixed.... Thanks Dad!

He doesn't know how much we need him. :)

Love,
your daughter.


"Before and After" - sort of...


THIS (see photo to right -------> )
is what I wanted to make. A pretty little flower.
I followed the pattern to the T!

























This is not what the above flower looks like..... and don't look too close;)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Caution: Heart-Wrenching Photos (may be graphic for little ones)


After the first World War, the United States, with its big heart, gave vast sums of money to the dislocated orphans of Europe, but they didn't have enough to meet the need. In one of the places where they were taking in orphans, a man came in, very thin with large, unnaturally bright eyes, thin cheeks and thin arms, leading a little girl. She also showed signs of malnutrition--eyes too large and bright, her little abdomen distended and her thin little legs and arms too small and too thin for her age.




This man led her in and said to the person in charge, "I would like you to take in my little girl." And they asked him if she was his daughter.

"Yes," he said.

"Well," they said, "we're awfully sorry, but our rule here is that only full orphans can receive any help. If one of the parents is living, then we can't take responsibility because we just don't have enough. There are too many full orphans for us to take a half orphan."




And he looked down at his little girl, and she looked up questioningly with big, too-bright eyes, and then he turned and said, "Well, you know, I can't work. I'm sick. I've been abused. I have been in prison. I've been half-starved, and now I'm old and I can't work. I can barely stagger around. But I brought her down for you to take care of her."





And they said, "We're sorry, but there's nothing we can do."

He said, "You mean that if I were dead, you'd take care of my little girl and feed her and she could live here and have clothing and a home?" They said, "Yes." Then he reached down and pulled her skinny little body up to himself and hugged her hard and kissed her. Then he put her hand in the hand of the man at the desk, and said, "I'll arrange that," and walked out of the room and committed suicide.





As a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pities them that fear Him.

Mercy was showing compassion in the only way it could at the moment; by dying. So Christ Jesus our Lord died there on that cross, for He loved us and pitied us as a father pities his children.


Taken from The Attributes of God by A.W. Tozer

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Saying "I love you" for the last time.

Listen to this story, told by a preacher at a conference speaking on youth relationships with their parents.

"During the conference, a 16-year-old girl came forward and asked if she could give her testimony. At first, I sensed a little hesitation in my heart, and then I thought, "No, I need to let her speak." And then I did.

The girl's name was Kayla. She told how she had come home from school one day and was excited because some friends had invited her to go with them somewhere. When she told her Mom, she was just sure her mom would be happy about what she was going to do and would certainly let her go. When Mom heard where she was going, who she was going with- Mom said to Kayla: Absolutely not! There is no way I could let you go there and do that.

Kayla's expectations of a great, fun time were smashed to smitherines in a few moments of time. Angrily, she looked at her mother and said, "It's not fair, Mom! You just don't ever want me to have a good time!" And then she stormed up stairs, went in her room, and laid down across her bed. Her mother followed her. Gently, she opened the door, went in, sat on the edge of the bed, and began to explain.
"Kayla. It's not that we don't want you to have a good time. Actually, there are three good reasons why I don't want you to go. Number one is this, honey: It's against the rules of our home. We don't go to such places- none of us go to places like that. Secondly: I'm concerned about the friends you want to go with, honey. Frankly, I think it's the wrong crowd for you to be around and I'm concerned about you spending so much time around that group of people. Thirdly, Kayla, the main reason I don't want you to go: I don't want you to go because I love you and I want the best for your life. Kayla? I said, I love you. Kayla, darling, I really do love you."
Kayla didn't reply.

Her mom got up and left the room.

This girl from the youth camp was standing on the platform telling her testimony with tears streaming down her face, as she said, "It wasn't that I didn't love my Mama. I did love her. But I didn't speak to my Mom that day. Or the next day. Or the next day. The next morning, I got up and caught the school bus. On the way to school, an ambulance passed the bus. Its lights were flashing, it's sirens were screaming. I had no idea that they were going after my Mama, and that I would never see her again. It was too late for me to say, "I love you too, Mom."

And with tears streaming down her face, that girl stood before that youth group and said this, "One hundred times one hundred times, I've wished I could tell my Mom that I love her. If I could just call her on the phone and tell her I loved her, I would do it in a heartbeat. And if I could write her a letter and say, "Mom, I love you," I would do it. And if I could see her and hug her and say, "Mom, I love you"- a hundred times a hundred, I would do it!"

Today could be your last chance. Do you want your last words to be bitter, angry, and harsh?
Or do you want them to be words of forgiveness, words of love.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Thy Will Be Done




My God, my Father, while I stray
Far from my home in life's rough way,
O teach me from my heart to say,
Thy will be done.

If dark my path and hard my lot,
May I be still and murmur not;
But breathe the prayer divinely taught,
Thy will be done.

If Thou shouldst call me to resign
What most I prize-- it ne'er was mine;
I only yield Thee what is Thine,
Thy will be done.

Should pining sickness waste away
My life in premature decay,
My Father, help me still to say
Thy will be done.

Renew my will from day to day;
Blend it with Thine and take away
All that now makes it hard to say
Thy will be done.

And when on earth I breathe no more
The prayer oft mixed with tears before;
I'll sing on heaven's blissful shore
Thy will be done.







This is "my" hymn. I can't sing it without being convicted of my attitude towards the storms God sends my way. Who am I to question His will- may I learn to bow my will and sincerely say, "Thy will be done."

Monday, August 29, 2011

Created to be.... little helpers. :)




The harvesting begins! Not only does it begin, but it goes on and on...
Well, it seems like it. Those green beans... It could be a drought and they would still be popping out from every stem! It's a rather daunting task at times... especially in the heat. No sooner do I clear a small area, then I discover that they've magically re-populated the entire plant.
I also discovered a little surprise a few days ago.... after picking myriads of beans that were green, I reached under a leaf and pulled a bean out. When I laid eyes upon it, I was a little scared. It was purple. I've never seen those before... did God create those, or are they some sketchy cross-hybrid... And what do you call them? Purple beans or purple green beans? If I said that I'd picked "purple beans", I doubt many would understand.
It could just be me. Maybe purple green beans have been around longer than my 24 years. I know, I just revealed my age in public.... shhhh. :)

Now look at the above pictures. In photo A, we've got Eva in her "Country Girl" shirt. Very appropriate, I'd say. These miniature adults actually have their very own, kid-sized garden gloves! Straw hats and we're ready for work!

Eva is a little master at picking green beans, as I discovered. I ran back in to get the camera, and there she was, picking away. Kailey felt a little left-out, and meandered off to pick her own, Kailey-sized green peppers.
So there we were, slaving away in the sun. Well, mostly Eva and myself. Kailey contented herself (much to my dismay) with digging in the dirt and pouring it all over herself.
I reminded myself that I used to spend hours making mud cakes. Thrill of my childhood, those mud-cake days!

Kids love to help.
I feel that I need to emphasize that a bit more...
Kids love to help!
It doesn't matter what you're doing- pouring in chocolate chips, scrubbing the toilet bowl, pulling weeds, or talking out loud. (Eva loves to help finish my sentences) ;)

Problem is.... its more work when they help. I have found myself sneakily cleaning the house, hoping they won't find me and ask to help. It's hard to say no. They're so cute, for one. For another thing, I know it will benefit them to learn life skills.
If only it weren't so much more work.... Not only do I have to do it with them until they get the hang of it, I then have to re-do (in secret) whatever they do for me!
It's not easy! And I won't lie- I work very very quietly and hide in the closet if I hear footsteps coming my way. Well... maybe not that last part... but it's tempting;)

What is my problem?!?
Um..... selfishness.... perfectionisism.... laziness.... I could go on but I'd rather not. :p
I'm selfish because I'm depriving them of opportunities to learn skills for their life. (Hey, it will benefit me/others in the long run- if I teach them how to buckle their seatbelt, I don't have to crawl in the back of my 2-door sports car... if I teach them to take their dishes to the sink, I will create a life-long habit ... er... hopefully.)

I'm being a perfectionist because I think it all has to be done to perfection. Kids take pride in their work; who am I to insist that every wrinkle be out before I give them a passing pat on the head?? I need to get away from my perfectionism and work on praising them. Praise drives them to work harder and do their work better.

I am being lazy because I want the quick(er) and eas(ier) way out.
So it's tiring, constantly working alongside them, helping them to master some skill.
Is that really my excuse?

So there. Maybe this will increase my motivation to be better about letting the kids help.
After all. One day they will be making me chocolate chip cookies. Unless I refuse to ever teach them by letting them work alongside me.
One day they will be folding the clothes by themselves. Unless I refuse them every opportunity to learn with me.

My thoughts and goals.... I promise you that I'm not posting this to make any of you feel like a bad parent-- if I know you and you're a parent- I think you are wonderful and I've learned from all of you:) Thank you for being a good example!
Keep on keeping on!



Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Little Girl.
Big Farm.


Little Girl.
Big Grain Bin.

I wonder what life looks like for them....
Does everything seem big and daunting through the eyes of children?
Is that why they need us to coax them through the scary and hard parts
of their life? Things that seem trivial and silly in my eyes...

Do my problems seem big and daunting?
Do I maybe cling tighter to God's hand when He is
trying to lead me up what seems like a treacherous
mountain? When it fact, it is only a gentle slope in the eyes of God...

Do I know anything of the hill Christ climbed for me?
Bruised and bleeding, my Lord and King staggered up that
treacherous mountain, with no hand to hold.
But still He pressed on....
Because with His eyes, He saw that the 'hill' of Calvary
must be conquered to win life for the lost and guilty.

"Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!"

Girls Day Out

Deceiving title, isn't it! After all, coming from me, you would expect
to see pictures of, well, MY buddies. Nope. That
wouldn't be exciting enough to document on film,
nor post on my blog. THIS, however, was
monumental! It took me about 15 minutes
to get them all buckled in! (mostly because
the three boosters were too close in the back
and it was rather impossible but I had a will.
And the seat belts knew better than to defy me...)
So here we are, all smiling! Well... 4 out of 5? I'll take it!
Take 2. This is a more accurate capture.
In 5 letters- chaos. Controlled chaos, and who wouldn't
prefer that to dead silence 24/7? (I added that last phrase
because I know better.. I have moments where dead silence
is rare and beautiful. And never long enough.) ;)


And our final pose-
Driving past the turkey barns with the windows open.
That's enough to make anyone plug their nose:)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Dedicated to my Bros

You wouldn't know it, but I dearly love my brothers.
Its a rather quiet, unspoken kind of love.
The relationship consists of me telling them that I love them and
think they are Amazing. (cuz they are)
I *know* they love me back, but like I said... its an unspoken love.
We would all defend one another in a heartbeat, and man I would
give everything to take away their hardships.

But in the day-to-day hustle and bustle of life, you sort of forget
that you possess this undying, defensive love for one another.
It usually starts when they leave their glass of half-empty milk sit
it some remote place where its bound to remain for another week.
It follows with a plate which doesn't quite make it into the sink, but
instead finds a home on a precarious ledge next to the sink. Not in,
but on. That's not what bugs me, its the fact that the food gets crusted
on. I hate crusty dishes. And sometimes I just can't be there to rinse
it off right away. I have long arms, but they can't stretch across the
house. ;)
Sometimes I can't help but wonder... How do you forget to flush the
toilet?? Honestly?!
Honestly, we get along fine. I cringe inwardly at their less-than-polite
manners... Sometimes I might slip with a comment like, "So, do you
have sink-phobia?" "Does the loud flushing of the toilet scare you?" "Is
the faucet not working?" ;)

I just finished mopping the floor today. The smell of clean was in the air
(and in my nostrils. permanently.) and the floor gleamed like never
before. No quicker did it dry, then in walks my awesome brother, who
I love dearly. I really do, no sarcasm there. He is hard-working,
thoughtful, a great husband and father, and honest.

On second thought, let me correct that-
No quicker did it dry, then in walks my awesome brother, who just
happens to be wearing his crusty work clothes and work boots.
I watched in silent dismay as he "tip toes" in his clunker boots
to the fridge for something to eat. He's roaming through the cupboards
when I couldn't help but calmly but sorrowfully say, "Your boots...
on my freshly mopped floor...."

Now maybe my assumptions are off. But I assume that *most* men
will shrug it off or say something callous.
But my awesome brother whips his head down as he realizes that yes,
he is wearing his work boots in the house. "You just mopped?" he asks.
"Ye-ah..."
"Oh man, I didn't even think about the dirt on my shoes. Shoot.
I'm sorry."

He said it all so genuinely and concern was written all over his face as he
eyeballed the floor for debris.
How can you be upset with THAT reaction?!
Tell me!!! Its not possible!!!

They're just plain awesome. I love my brothers!!!!!

If I were a marriage expert, I would mention how important it is to react
calmly and have a forgiving heart. ... and not to let petty little habits cause contempt between yourselves...
I would also mention how a soft answer turns away wrath.
I might even suggest that men can make a definite impression of masculinity (and chivarly!!)
when they react genuinely, with concern, and are truly repentant. Even if they had
a great reason for having to keep their shoes on. Like, "Listen, I was on the verge of collapse and would have blacked out any second if I hadn't rushed in here to eat some cheese!" :)

But since I'm not a marriage expert... I just won't say any of those things. ;)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Wilting Daffodils

"Aunt Laura, what is that thing?"
Eva points to a dead flower petal; so dead, in fact, that it would disintegrate if one touched it.

I sat there and explained away the facts of life.
"Flowers die, Eva."
To which she smartly replies, "I know Aunt Laura."

Oh yeah... Silly me, I forgot that you know everything already;)

I continued on with my little biology lesson. I explained that flowers grow in the dirt, but they grow because they are connected to roots. Once they are cut off from their roots, they stop getting the nutrients they need. Without the nutrients (yes that means vitamins) they need from the soil and roots, they shrivel up and die.

Then it hit me. That is just like us. Without our roots (the Lord Jesus Himself) and without the soil surrounding us (God's Word), we shrivel up and die. We need Him. We need His Word.
All I could think about was John 15. (I never remembered to check and make sure that's the right chapter... you've been warned!)
I am the Vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit. (or... flower petals...)
Most days consist of the usual daily activities: Eating breakfast, getting dressed, making our bed, playing with toys, some sort of coloring, workbook or flashcard activity, and learning how to get along with and serve one another. But on special days like today.... you will find us doing something quite out of the ordinaire: (see below)

















I know we live on a farm, but.... TRACTOR!!!
This event was so special that we moved aside
the entire play kitchen just so we could get a
complete close-up. About every five seconds or
so, Kailey excitedly yells, "TA-TO" .... or .....
something sounding like that. 100% country!!!
























Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Moments in Time

I'm standing in the kitchen, beholding the most precious sight... I'm watching out the window as Eva is teaching Kailey how to pedal her tricycle. I hear nothing, of course, but I watch as Eva patiently keeps putting Kailey's feet on the pedals... I watch her slowly pulling the tricycle forward and bobbing her head in encouragement. I watch her straighten up and point to different places around them. Probably explaining that she needs to stay on the driveway, stay away from the highway, and get into the grass if a truck comes down the lane. I think Kailey is in no danger of getting near the highway... the only progress she makes is to inch backwards! Yet Eva remains at her side, encouraging her to keep trying. What 4-year-old wouldn't rather be playing instead of teaching a 1-year-old to pedal a tricycle! I am sure Eva felt the same way, yet her love for her sister kept her near her. In that moment, my eyes started to water... how sweet and adorable are they when they are getting along! How precious are the moments when they pull alongside one another and learn about life from the other. The bond of siblings can only be strengthened when they spend time together, ever thought of that? I am so glad Eva and Kailey spend most of their time together. I am glad they are learning to be each other's best friends. I hope they cultivate their bond as sisters so that nothing will tear them apart when they grow up and go their own ways.

I couldn't help but be aware of the fact that I had no sister when I was growing up...
But what about my present circumstances? I am surrounded by wonderful and amazing sisters in Christ! Do I give up what I'd rather be doing to pull alongside and encourage them? Am I patiently teaching them? Do I praise them for trying, even though they only end up going backwards? These are the moments in time when I am reminded, "Be ye holy, as I am holy".